hop-scotch

why does it have to be so fast?

2009-01-19T10:45:00.000-06:00

blame zach.

2009-01-15T21:51:00.002-06:00

So yeaaaaaaah.

ANYWAY!

Some recent posts that have been meaningful for me and my current life situation:

Penelope Trunk
More Penelope Trunk
I'm not so much like this guy, but the response was relevant.

More later.

fail.

2009-01-11T13:05:00.001-06:00

yeah, so about that once a day thing....

lazy thursday?

2009-01-08T17:34:00.002-06:00

I have been such a bum today. It's kind of despicable.

But I added hangman to my blog! And a couple other nifty changes.

I keep thinking of all the things I could be doing today (since I don't work today) and I can't get past thoughts. Haven't done much. Bad habit. I think it's because I've been sleeping in - and when I sleep in I feel tired ALL day. It's no bueno.

Went to Starbucks to get caffeine hoping that would motivate me, and when I was walking out I witnessed the tail end of an older woman falling in the parking lot. She was with what seemed like her 13ish year old granddaughter. I didn't see how bad it was, but when she fell she didn't get up. (I immediately thought of you, LP, if you're reading this...). Anyway, I went over and she had a sizable gash above her eye. Luckily I was at my store, I stole some supplies from the first aid kit. Anyway, she was fine, but like, four women coming from Pei Wei rushed over after I helped her get cleaned up and they basically shushed me away. Like, "We're all fine here, thanks!" And stayed with her. I didn't get that at all. Did I offend them or something? It was very strange. Very high school.

I think some women are proud of their nurturing capabilities - like they need to prove it. They're possessive over it, even competitive. I don't understand it.

Anyway. That was kind of interesting. Going to Norman for most of next week and I can't wait! It will be good to see people, and to look for jobs.

Oklahoma plays in the BCS National Championship Game tonight! Boomer Sooner baby. Should be good. Hopefully...

Got a Victoria's Secret swim catalog today - made me want to work out. But I still didn't. ha.

weird things

2009-01-06T23:35:00.002-06:00

1. This is the world headquarters of craigslist. Somehow I imagined it being very different. Only 25 employees. Hm.

2. I saw Slumdog Millionaire today, and it was very good, you should go see it! I don't totally agree with the review, but it mentions this tidbit of weirdness during the ending credits: They all broke out into a dance. Like, a choreographed, Bollywood-esque dance. ? And it definitely wasn't that kind of movie. Seriously, anyone know what that's about?

more jobless journalists

2009-01-06T15:14:00.002-06:00

This is depressing. And, really, it's starting to get old.

I think that every person I graduated with (or nearly with) that got a job in journalism has either nearly escaped a lay off or has suffered one. It's pretty amazing how quickly it's all just burning to the ground. Newspapers at least.

(For the record, LP has not been laid off. But she works in magazines in New York, so she doesn't count. haha)

A friend's facebook status today said that she "is worried that this economy will rob our media of some of the best new journalists."

This isn't the end of journalism, obviously, but it is certainly a painful transition. It just might be the end of the newspaper, or at least, the newspaper as we know it. I'm sure my kids will not be picking up a daily newspaper every morning.

But I think that's sadly true. What about all us newbs? We all graduated, excited and edumuhcated, with nowhere to go. The smartest of us will find new paths to carve in journalism - new ways of storytelling or some niche we can find a way to make our own. But what will the rest of us do in the meantime? Settle? Or ditch journalism for something to pay the bills?

p.s.

2009-01-06T00:53:00.002-06:00

Two wonderful things made their return today: Gossip Girl and Cary Tennis.

Just wanted to share.

my nose hurts

2009-01-06T00:27:00.003-06:00

It's raw from being blown all day long.

I'm all stuffy. It stinks.

I've waited too long to write today and now I'm all tired. I've got to start some better time management if this resolution is going to work.

I have a few personal resolutions this year. I want to trust myself more. I want to be more confident. I want to stop apologizing for myself. I want to stop doubting so much. I want to be more positive.

Worry and negativity really are just habits. They're things you learn, even from a young age. But I think you also have to spend a little time unlearning them. You have to really make an effort to change the way you think.

I think maybe I've been watching too much Oprah lately.

ommm

2009-01-04T21:22:00.002-06:00

So, I have an admission. I really really like Taylor Swift's album, Fearless. It's actually, genuinely good. I know, some of you (one of you) is probably rolling your eyes. But psh, whatev.

On another note, I've been seriously considering doing a Vipassana meditation course. I used to think meditation was kind of.... weird. A little too new agey and.... weird. But I've been reading and learning more and more about what it's all about and it makes so much sense to me it's just crazy.

Vipassana, in Sanskrit, means insight. Mostly, insight into the nature of reality. The goal is to see the impermanence in reality, and to explore yourself so that you can detach yourself from it. The whole idea being that everything is transitory and the nature of a person is selflessness.

The more I read, the more it makes sense, and the more time I spend meditating (I'm still a total beginner and am not yet very good at it - I get distracted) the better I feel, just in general.

Vipassana is a technique you learn through a ten-day course. It's pretty much ten days of pure meditation. The first three, you just learn to focus on your breathing as a way to calm your mind, and then you do the more introspective meditation. You don't speak to anyone, you eat an entirely vegetarian diet and you have no communication with the outside world. No reading, writing, anything. Sounds pretty intense.

You can apply and if you're accepted, it's completely free. It's funded by people who've finished the course. Pretty cool.

I'm reading Letters From the Dhamma Brothers and it's got me interested. It's mostly letters of thanks from prisoners who've done the course.

Pretty interesting stuff. I'm feeling pretty sickly, so that's all for now.

ouch

2009-01-03T11:11:00.002-06:00

Went out drinking last night. In a good amount of discomfort today. I'm not as young as I used to be. Insightful, I know.

I want to move and need to figure out how. ideas?

new year

2009-01-02T00:59:00.003-06:00

It's a new year, but I am still a bad blogger.

The holidays have come and gone and the majority of them, for me, consisted of cooking, eating and making coffee. Mostly quiet, but they were good.

I have a new resolution. And it's a typical New Year's resolution - unattainable, difficult and it probably won't stick, but let's just see. I am going to write something every single day. I'm starting here, but with my new shiny web site coming soon (!) it may evolve to a new location. But it will be more than on a notepad at home (unless I have some extenuating, no-access-to-internet situation) because that won't keep me accountable.

I worry too much about getting things right. I worry too much about making the perfect choice, making sure my moves are the right ones. Sometimes I forget to just do something. Sometimes I freeze facing so many choices, so many paths. So, I'm just going to pick one path and do it. Maybe it won't always be right or perfect, but I'll be doing it! And it's not a big choice - but it's a good start.

I am a very emotional person. Nobody makes me realize this more than my mother. She is an emotional person. She worries about everything, about everyone. She obsesses. She fidgets. All the time. She's got this undercurrent of energy that is just always buzzing. It makes me crazy sometimes. There is so much of her in me. But I can also realize lots of ways that I am not like her, and that is helpful too.

Sometimes my emotions surprise me. Sometimes there is something there, under the surface, that just seems to grow and develop all on it's own and you never really even notice it. You don't even know it exists, but you carry it around all the time. And then, you kick your foot into the coffee table or someone grabs you by the shoulders and says something right into your eyes and it just springs up, out of nowhere, just to surprise you. Where the hell did that come from? But somehow you are familiar with it, and you kind of knew it was there all along.

Am I completely insane?

ha. it's late. time for sleep.

P.S. I think it's comical that my first post on the first day of my new, ambitious project for 2009 didn't even happen till Jan. 2.

interesting

2008-12-15T22:15:00.001-06:00

tell them to call me!

one of the greatest new writers of our time :)

2008-12-11T10:26:00.001-06:00

Oklahoma heartbreak.

hoooooolidays have begun

2008-11-30T23:44:00.002-06:00

Thanksgiving - check.

Big 12 Championship for the Sooners - check!

Wonderful things have happened since my last post. The Sooners have made it to Kansas City after a dramatic three-way tie ordeal. BEAUTIFUL! Kind of wish I could be there.

Thanksgiving was scrumptious and my gingerbread men went over well. Got to spend some great time with good friends this weekend. :) all is well.

All my working at Starbucks has slowed me down on the job hunt, so I'll have to make a stronger effort there. Applied for a couple of jobs in the OKC area... and I found a reporting job in Georgetown, Texas that I plan to apply for. Yay productivity!

Cross your fingers for me. I'm ready to move.

baking madness!

2008-11-25T20:56:00.003-06:00

it continues.

gingerbread men! these were better, I think.

they look good...

2008-11-24T21:58:00.001-06:00

the icing's not great. :/ just means more cookies to be made!

read!

2008-11-24T15:03:00.004-06:00

I love, love, love Cary Tennis. I'd love to write an advice column but I feel like it's too pretentious to assume I can give good advice. And then publish it.

blogging

2008-11-24T14:42:00.002-06:00

Today's mail made me laugh.

I received a survey from OU, being conducted by The University of Georgia about the job market for journalism grads. Are you seeing the humor yet?

Every autumn we contact a sample of students who, the previous spring, completed their journalism/communication degree from universities around the country. We want to know if graduates were able to find employment (Um, no) after they left college and to learn about the types of work found (So far, The Daily Ardmoreite for $9.50 aaaaaand Starbucks). We want to know what strategies worked (I'd like to know too! If you could send me the responses from the successful grads, that'd be super). We also want to learn about salary and benefits received (Hahahaha).

Oh man. That made my day. But seriously, hopefully my sad answers will help future journalist wannabes. Or at least send them running for the hills.

In other news, I want to start a blog. I realize, this sounds silly to announce.... on my blog. But you know, this is my 'personal' blog. About three people read it. (maybe?) I need a blog with a point, with a topic and an angle, something that is interesting to other people, something I'm interested in and will work well as a self-marketing, journalism-career-building tool. Something I could become an expert in. Something I could actually write about and report about. Something I could write about for a long time. Something someone might actually read.

So, any good ideas?

Thus far, I have:

A baking blog. Kind of like, for fun, beginner, 20-something bakers who entertain their cool friends. Easy shortcuts, cheap solutions, super easy do-it-yourself stuff. Maybe this could branch out to food/wine, or everyday crafty stuff? (I have a weird thing for stationery).

Cheap entertainment blog. This would have to be regional. How to eat, shop and have fun cheaply. (You know, since I'm still young and broke.) Where to find this and that, creative free stuff. I feel kind of meh about this idea.

I think it might be cool to do a "process" blog. To set out on a personal experiment and document the process with the blog. Could be interesting with the right idea. The right idea that I don't have yet.

a case of the Mondays

2008-11-17T21:53:00.002-06:00

I feel lost and restless and I really don't know what I want.

What should I do? What jobs should I be looking for? Where should I live? What am I working toward? What do I want? What are my goals? What am I doing?

I don't know! That's the answer to every question - I don't know. I don't like living at home, although it doesn't suck. It's cushy and it's free, and of all parents to live with, my dad is probably the best. But I'm not on my own, and I still feel dependent. Should I move?

Should I try to get a newspaper job? It seems like it's not a good industry to get into at the moment. Everywhere I look people are getting laid off. If they're not getting laid off, they're underpaid in crappy towns. But it's something. It's what I know how to do. It's something to do. I don't want it enough to get paid $10 in Nowhere, Okla.

Should I try to get a job in PR? I don't know much about PR. Should I try to learn?

Should I just start freelancing? What's my story? What do I want to write about? Who should I pitch to?

Where do I want to be in five years? Hell if I know. I don't even know what I'm doing this weekend.

Should I move back 'home' (or the closest thing I can call home) to figure it all out? Where I can live independently and be around the people I love? Where it might be easier to make new friends, or remind me of all my college education and maybe, in some abstract way, motivate me to use it? Or is that just me being restless and wanting to do something? Is that just using where I live as a crutch? Going backward?

I just don't know. Someone asked me how the "great unknown" is treating me. It kind of sucks.

Am I just whining? Probably.

more starbucks

2008-11-15T11:30:00.002-06:00

This is humorous.

story

2008-11-13T01:09:00.002-06:00

Carlos Mencia

ooh, starbucks.

2008-11-12T22:11:00.004-06:00

Work was funny today.

1) I was steaming milk, and I decided I was done apparently, so I removed the milk from the steamer before it had finished, and thus, steamed milk ALL over me and my entire vicinity. It was pretty funny, and thankfully, not painful.

2) The two other baristas I was working with were cracking me up so much, that at one point I had a complete laugh-attack. I could not stop cracking up - I couldn't even help customers. Whatever I was laughing at wasn't even funny enough to retell, but for whatever reason, I could not stop giggling. It felt really good actually.

AND! I've finally discovered how to use my dad's all-in-one printer/faxer/scanner on my computer. Some scanning fun below!

Some retro photos I found:

Zach and Lauren, Europe trip... summer 200....5?

This one was a gift from Jes Brown from my Sooner yearbook days. Her nice little note was on the back:

I want

2008-11-05T22:12:00.004-06:00

a puppy
a job I like that is meaningful, challenging and satisfying
to find fun exercise that doesn't include running or a gym
to bake
to laugh more
to write a column/blog
to find a good idea for a column/blog
great friends
my own place
to never make apologies for myself
to have a really great shoe collection
to learn
to stop worrying so much
to be a really good parent (in the far, far future)
to go somewhere!
to be surprised
to surprise someone
to use my degree
to know successful and positive people
to be inspired

halloween crafting

2008-10-29T21:46:00.006-05:00

By Me.

By Dad.

crafty?

2008-10-28T22:21:00.001-05:00

I kind of want to be like her.

I'm alive.

2008-10-25T22:59:00.002-05:00

As if anyone reads this? Oh well.

I decided I don't want to apply for jobs anymore. I'm really sick of great interviews that end in rejection letters. I feel like the job search and I aren't getting along very well. It's been treating me real bad, and I'm starting to get bitter. I think I me and the job search need a little space before we start resenting each other and I give up on the idea of looking for a job at all. We obviously want different things, and are heading in different directions. I'd like to save whatever possibility of a career that we may have. It's better this way.

A little humor for you, as a reward for reading my blog. Ha, joke's on you.

I hate to say this, because it's horribly negative (theme?) but, what's with everyone always saying, "everything will be alright." Don't worry, you don't have a job? Everything will work out. Don't worry, it didn't work out? Everything will be okay in the end. Hey, don't worry about it! Hey, it's all going to be okay.

But, for many people in the world, it doesn't all work out. I realize it's not the right way to approach life, but there are tons of horrible decisions out there just waiting to be made that do matter. Am I wrong?

No pressure though.

sophie

2008-09-08T23:39:00.003-05:00

I've been a bad blogger.

2008-08-19T00:29:00.002-05:00

But I haven't really had anything all too interesting to blog about. But for sheer lack of quantity, I will stoop to the what's-going-on-with-me post... not always the most riveting.

I've been back at home with Dad, mooching off free rent and groceries, for a week now, continuing the job search. I have an interview Tuesday that I'm excited about... and hoping not to jinx. (!)

I have some friends that will hate me for this, but I'm about Olympic-ed out. It's getting a little redundant. Although, in true hypocritical fashion, watching Phelps win his 8th gold was pretty amazing.

[Sidenote: amazing is by far my most overused adjective. I need something new.]

I'm listening to Vampire Weekend a lot lately. It's good for car dancing.

I'm digressing. Thus, the end of my what's-going-on-with-me post.

Ta da!

oh, P.S. I'm coming to Norman this weekend! woot!

Norman visit

2008-08-10T11:37:00.006-05:00

I'm reconnected! Finally.

Here are a few of the first of photos taken since the loss... the beginning of the rebuilding of my entire library. sad.

Somewhere between Reading and Allentown, Pa., on my drive to Apple. This is most of what scenic Pa. farmland looks like. Lots of corn, Amish, cows and silos.

Then there was a fire. The view from Zach's apartment.

How we've been spending a lot of our time: x box. woot.

This week has been so relaxing, I'm loving it. Back to Tejas soon for some more job hunting.

blog lull

2008-07-31T14:44:00.002-05:00

Good story! After two trips to the Apple store in Allentown, (an hour drive from Reading), I am informed that my hard drive is indeed dead, and I'll need to replace it.

I find and buy a drive, search around town to find the crazy torx screwdriver I need, find that, and I'm good as new! Or so I think.

I drive back to Allentown (time #3 now) with new drive installed, all excited, and they tell me it's a dud. No bueno. No good reason either - it just is a bad drive, and I need to return it.

So I said eff this crap, I'm just going to return the drive and wait until I get to Norman to deal with another Apple store trip.

Cool, huh?

In other news, tomorrow is my last day at the Reading Eagle. Saturday morning I'll begin my drive back to Oklahoma. woohoo! I'm really excited to see some familiar places in a familiar place. So, if you'll be in Norman next week hit me up! And, if you'll be in or near Dallas after that hit me up too!

Hopefully it won't be too horribly long till I'm back online, and not secretly blogging at work.

RIP MacBook

2008-07-25T10:43:00.001-05:00

My precious MacBook has died.

Thus, the lack of posts of late. Well, that's at least partially to blame. I was finally sitting down to blog, and it completely froze. I shut it down, and ever since, all it does when attempting to start up is show me a mean, blinking file folder icon with a blinking question mark on a blue screen.

I'm fairly certain my hard drive is gonzo.

I have an appointment with Apple tomorrow, so they can tell me exactly how much money I'll have to pay (that I don't have) to fix it.

:(

I really need an external hard drive.

nompton pride

2008-07-14T14:08:00.005-05:00

Take a look at this! Impressive! Numero 6 out of 100. I'm a little proud, I must admit. As much as I thought I never would, two months out and I miss the place.

And they lead with Cafe Plaid! Freakin' perfect!

So, I read on and find number 15 on the list. Talk about some hometown pride! I'm starting to wonder who judged this.

Many other Dallas suburbs made the list too; Frisco, Richardson, Allen, McKinney, Lewisville, Garland. But I still think Norman in the top 10 is impressive.

clearwater beach

2008-07-10T19:36:00.004-05:00

Here are some long overdue Florida photos from my vacation. (Many more can be found on my flickr if you're interested at all.) I camped out on a boogie board at the water line to shoot the skim boarders, and got a monster sunburn. Like, second degree burn, thought-about-going-to-the-hospital burn. It was rough. I was seriously committed.

take my poll!

2008-07-09T15:25:00.001-05:00

please.

Photos to come as soon as I can get over my frustration with the blogger post editor.

reporting etiquette

2008-07-08T12:09:00.005-05:00

Just to preface, there's a little bit of journalism ranting ahead.

I think I'm a relatively trusting person. Sometimes I'll leave my car unlocked if I'm running to the curb to return movies or running in my house to grab something. I generally will talk to people in public.

Today I was out reporting at local grocery stores, working on a story about "grocery line etiquette" - the dos and don'ts in the checkout line and in the aisle. A fun little story, nothing serious.

I walked up to a lady and very politely told her, after apologizing for interrupting her shopping, that I was a reporter with The Reading Eagle, that I was talking to customers today - and explained my story. Would she have a few extra moments to answer some questions? She proceeds to hesitantly answer my questions, and asks if we can walk and talk. Sure, I say.

So, she's nice, answers my questions, gives me some pretty good quotes actually, "self checkout is a beauty" "I really like to get in and get out as quickly as possible" "sometimes people just aren't very considerate of those around them - stopping and blocking the whole aisle" before I ask for her name. She tells me her first name, Bernice, and then says, "you can just call me Bernice B." I pause, and in the most polite way possible, tell her that unfortunately, I can't use anything we talked about unless I can publish her whole name.

She then insists to see some ID. Really? I can count on my hand the number of times I've been asked for a press pass and they've either been when I was A) holding a camera in my hand or B) asking for much more consequential information than "do you prefer paper or plastic?"

Of course, with my luck, I don't have my press pass on me, so I lose the whole interview.

Here's my question: Who else COULD I have been? What kind of criminal would pose as a reporter asking about your shopping habits? Who would make that up, and furthermore, for what purpose? I'm wearing a gray cotton skirt from the Gap and ballet flats. I'm not exactly intimidating.

Also, if a reporter identifies herself and proceeds to WRITE DOWN what you say - it's a safe bet you're being quoted. I guess I just thought this was assumed.

My other issue is that people like this women are probably the same ones who call newspapers untrustworthy and not credible. I guarantee if she had read that story with "Anonymous shopper" quoted, she'd have some criticism for the validity of The Reading Eagle.

I didn't understand that at all. Maybe I'm just too trusting.

a tip

2008-06-30T10:25:00.003-05:00

To the public, or at least the small public who reads my blog:

Don't call a newspaper with really stupid questions. I'm talking about like, really stupid. Whoever you are talking with in editorial will, 99 percent of the time, hang up and make fun of you to the rest of the staff.

[Better quality blogging to come, I promise. Photos are almost all edited.]

front pager

2008-06-27T08:01:00.002-05:00

woot!

All you ever wanted to know about bridge.

And the dictionary.com word of the day is...

2008-06-27T07:55:00.003-05:00

harbinger \HAR-bin-juhr\, noun:

1. (Archaic) One who provides lodgings; especially, the officer of the English royal household who formerly preceded the court when traveling, to provide and prepare lodgings.

2. A forerunner; a precursor; one that presages or foreshadows what is to come.

3. To signal the approach of; to presage; to be a harbinger of.

Comets have been mistakenly interpreted by humans in times past as harbingers of doom, foretelling famine, plague, and destruction. - Walter Alvarez, T. Rex and the Crater of Doom

More than the steamboat, more than anything else, the railroads were the harbinger of the future, and the future was the Industrial Revolution. - Stephen E. Ambrose, Nothing Like It In the World

The airy draughts felt to him like the undoing of everything, the unfastening of ties, a harbinger of chaos. - Pauline Melville, The Ventriloquist's Tale

Harbinger, which originally signified a person sent ahead to arrange lodgings, derives from Middle English herbergeour, "one who supplies lodgings," from Old French herbergeor, from herbergier, "to provide lodging for," from herberge, "a lodging, an inn" (cp. modern French auberge), ultimately of Germanic origin.

good day

2008-06-15T20:50:00.004-05:00

If you're an avid reader, you know about how at work, they tell me if I'm leaving late, to get a security escort out to my car. (creepy).

Today I went to work to finish up a story for tomorrow, and it was completely dead, there was barely anyone there compared to weekdays. I left about 6:30, and I was going to walk up a couple blocks to drop off some mail at the post office downtown before heading to my car. So, about a block up, I cross the street and meet this security guard that is walking on the other side of the road. He all the sudden tells me that he's with the Eagle, and wasn't sure if I needed an escort but was following me anyway. He asks if I'm headed to my car. haha. So, he laughed, but walked me to the post office and then backtracked with me to my car.

He was a really nice man, he talked to me about how he was born and raised in Reading, and this was his first week on the job. Last year he was mugged walking home late one night by a large group of guys and girls, but all they took was the roasted chicken lunch his wife sent with him in a brown paper bag. Lucky him! Apparently it changed his life, and now he's much more aware. He says they're supposed to walk people out to their car even in the daytime, if they want. But even if people say no thanks, he just keeps a half a block behind them, just to be safe. We talked about the crime in Reading and how he has a daughter who is also 22 and named Lauren. Small world. He watched me get in my car and drive away, only after asking if I had called my dad today. (I did).

Something about him just really brightened my day, and made me want to be more optimistic about life.

I also went on a really nice walk today. Sidebar.

currently reading and listening to...

2008-06-13T11:41:00.005-05:00

Good so far, I'm quickly getting hooked. Anyone else read it?

Death Cab for Cutie, Narrow Stairs

I wasn't sure at first, but it's growing on me really fast. Tracks to try:
I will possess your heart (album version)
Cath... (album version)
You can do better than me (album version)

quarter life crises, anyone?

2008-06-12T09:14:00.004-05:00

I like my internship, but my only complaint is that it's a little slow moving. It kind of seems like things here just move slower. Deadlines are all a week before a run date, and the desk only produces one piece of original content per day. Maybe two, but rarely. Pretty much everything else is wire, or a quick hit Q&A or something.

Combine that with about five or six lifestyle reporters (a combination of part time, full time and me), and there's really just not that much to do. Yesterday I asked to do a couple more stories, and those have to be fit into the budget for a couple weeks out. So, speed wise, I've pretty much maxed out. But that's okay, because it gives me good reason to take my time and make every story stellar.

So imagine my excitement when yesterday, a weekend editor came up and pitched a story for "someone" to do with a quick turn around - like, three days. I jumped on it. They looked at me like there was no way I could do it - "Are you sure?" they asked. Heck yes, I'm sure. It's community theatre, there's a press release with a phone number already on it. They only need 15 inches, maximum. Psh.

So, I'm out to prove to them that a good feature can be done in a couple of days. My first story ran today, but I didn't really like it. I'm not sure what else I could have done with it though. Hm.

I'm starting to see myself doing more than just writing in my future. I think I'm starting to realize that it's not enough for me. I really like it, but I don't love it so much that I'd be willing to write stories and stories for years and years until I can get into an editing role, which I think is ultimately where I want to be.

When I think back on my experience and what I liked to do most, it was definitely management. I liked being responsible for lots of things at once, coordinating different aspects of a project and getting to use different skills every day.

With that in mind, I found a great PR job in Tulsa that I really want. Weird, huh? It's a risky move, but I figure, if I really wanted to get back into reporting sometime down the road, it would have to be because I was just so passionate about it that I wouldn't mind taking a pay cut or relocating. And if it was possible for me to feel that passionate in the future, wouldn't I already feel that way about it?

But maybe it's not the writing I'm tired of, maybe it's just the 9-5, "adult" environment. Maybe I'm just not challenging myself enough. Maybe it's just because it's not the right job. But how long would I have to work as a reporter to get the "right" job? It could be a while.

I honestly don't know the answer to these questions. I think a lot of my colleagues of the same age and time in life are feeling the same way. How do you really figure out what you want to do without taking too much time to soul search? I know it's better to do something rather than nothing while you figure it out, and even the bad experiences are meaningful, but how do you avoid a decision that might take you down a path that is difficult to back track?

Seriously, anyone have any advice?

RED-ing

2008-06-09T17:45:00.004-05:00

fear in the form of anger

2008-06-05T12:33:00.005-05:00

This is amazing.

I think it's ridiculous that so many people give the reason: "How will I explain it to my kids that two women are kissing?"

Really? That's your biggest concern?

I don't know about everybody else, but I fully intend on teaching my children about other sexual orientations than just heterosexuality... is that so wrong? Furthermore, it doesn't even matter what you think is wrong or right, it's just a reality. Why wouldn't you want your kids to know? By not educating them, you're only teaching them that it's wrong or shameful.

Gah.

life, careers, decisions

2008-06-05T10:17:00.004-05:00

Last night was a thoughtful one, full of perspective. This whole transitional time is awfully important, and the pressure of the important decisions is weighing on me a little.

But, I came to some good conclusions. Everything is a learning experience, sometimes especially the bad experiences. Jobs aren't permanent, so it's better to do something than spend time soul searching. And most of all, keep your eye on the goal, know what you're working toward and realize your first job isn't your dream job.

Kelsey and I were spending some quality time complaining together about the draining environment of the 9-5 "adult" working world, and this post made me feel a little better. This blog has become a recent bookmark of mine. I found it once on accident and keep going back to it - it's got some good advice.

philly

2008-06-03T20:46:00.004-05:00

Zach and I spent Sunday in Philly before he flew out Monday morning. It was a good time, we did the tourist thing for a couple hours before being bums in our super nice hotel room.

Prepare yourself for LOTS of photos...

notes on the new job

2008-05-29T13:36:00.005-05:00

The most amazing thing about a professional internship is that you're doing far less work, but sitting at a desk logging about double the amount of actual work hours.

Is this why so many people are bored with their jobs?

I'm currently assigned 5 or 6 stories, which sounds like a lot, except I only have 1 or 2 due a week, with my nearest deadline at the end of next week. Made all my first contacts - Ok, so what do you want me to do now? Calender listings. Sweet.

Today I overheard an editor complaining about an intern: "She started making calls Thursday night. Her story was due Monday! Great." Oh, yes. I am all too familiar. New place, same problems. (Not that I'm exempt...) Apparently the intern only turned in 4 inches. Her editor: "Yeah, I wrote the last couple inches because it was so short." Someone else: "I can't believe she even turned it in like that."

All of my fellow journalism readers - I'm sure you can feel me on this one.

In other but related news, Zach gave me a sweet recorder for graduation! It's pretty and red and holds 1 gig and has a USB port and is super cool. You'd all be jealous.

I work downtown, and it's definitely.... urban. A construction worker hollered at me today. Nice. I was also told that if I'd be leaving the office after dark I would be advised to get a security escort to my car. Earlier this week a man was stabbed in the eye by a group of men. (gang related I suspect?) Police are currently undergoing a county-wide search for 28 known drug dealers. Yeah. When I asked my editor about the crime in the city she said her 17-year-old son doesn't come downtown because he, "says he doesn't want to get shot," but she assured me that it wasn't like that. Most violence is drug related, not random muggings or anything. Good.

Another lifestyles reporter, a local veteran, was teaching me how to write cutlines. I listened attentively and tried not to let on that I already knew. She must have figured it out though, because afterward she said, "Oh, I always forget that you've worked at a paper before, sorry. A lot of the past interns haven't." Hm. Interesting.

Oh! And I was told today by a native Pennsylvanian lady I interviewed that I had no trace of a Texan accent. Also interesting.

I need some coffee. The 3:00 nap lull is coming!

ketchup

2008-05-28T18:13:00.013-05:00

get it??

So, for those of you who don't know (JSTU! Thanks for the kudos!), I'm in Reading, PA for the summer doing an internship in the newsroom of The Reading Eagle. I'm the features intern, which means I get to write mostly for the lifestyle section, and sometimes for the weekend (A&E) and religion sections. Exciting!

(photo courtesy of travel.webshots.com)

I'll just go chronologically since there's so much.

Zach and I headed out of Norman Sunday morning at 10:30. (We were pretty exhausted from John and Lisa's wedding, which by the way, was oodles of fun, a little bit stressful, but all together a wonderful time - congrats Mr. and Mrs. Stewart!). The beginning of our trip wasn't bad, we were entertaining each other with new music, chit chat, etc. It actually seemed to be going by pretty fast.

We stop for gas and snacks in Springfield, and hit the road again. But, weird, the air vents seem to not be blowing as hard as they usually do. Maybe we're just imagining it, we think. Then... wait, this feels not so cold anymore... within 10 minutes we were sweating with windows down. Busted AC. AWESOME. This is going to make for a great trip.

So, we use the iPhone to look up a Mazda dealership in Springfield, only to realize when we get there that it's Sunday. After some calling and google mapping, we find an open Firestone. THANK GOD FOR FIRESTONE! We drive there, and Zach hits the AC button, just one more try for good measure. It works PERFECTLY! Ice cold, rushing winds of air. I never thought I'd love wind so much. We get it checked out anyway, just in case it's possessed with secret AC problems (the kind that crop up on brand new cars, apparently), and we don't want it going out again on Memorial Day. They look at it and say there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Strange. So, we continue on, never another AC problem. Good, but weird.

Zach almost missed St. Louis due to an unplanned nap, but woke up in time to snap a couple arch photos...

It's Lauren and the arch! (The trip is already wearing me down...)

The trip really wasn't so bad - we played the alphabet/celebrity name game (does it have a real name?) and developed a point system that added some serious competition. We find a place to stay in Columbus, OH, but decide to drive through the night instead. The last leg across PA was brutal, we switched drivers about every hour and fought just to keep our eyes open. We caved and took a nap in the car for an hour on the side of the road. But we finally made it!

The most immediately apparent differences in PA were:
1. trees
2. lots of green
3. no open space
4. hills

We get to the dorm and get our rooms (The college I'm living at, Alvernia, a small private school in Reading, comped Zach a room on the boy's floor for the week, sweet!) and my room doesn't suck!! It's a triple room, so three beds, desks and wardrobes, and it's a corner room so it's a little bigger.

View upon entrance:

Food nook:

Front door:

Back corner:

Look how big it is!! (That's what she said!)

Hey good lookin'

Alright, that last one was just for fun.

After a MONSTER nap, we woke up and ran some errands. First on the list, find a Walmart. Achieved. It's no Super, 24-hour Walmart, but it'll do. Second, drive to work - super easy. Hooray!

Day one of internship (subhead)

Woke up early, what a shocker! Decided not to go with my new light gray suit and lavender button up because I want to look nice but I also want to blend in. I keep the lavender shirt and switch for brown pants. The wonderful boyfriend drops me off after buying me some McDonald's breakfast (what more can a girl ask for?). I read the paper while eating my breakfast burrito - I have fears of being quizzed on the news my first day. Too much school in my past.

Get there at exactly 8:45 (perfect!) and come in to meet the editor. He's nice, older white guy, seems conservative, pretty much what you'd expect in a family-owned newspaper editor. We try to make small talk for 10 minutes while we wait for the other intern (Vikram from UT) gets there to start orientation. We have some awkward small talk, but both seem relieved when we find we have something in common - he's a Dallas Cowboys fan!

Vikram arrives and we're sent to test our urine! Woo! We quickly bond over the stress of being able to produce enough to fill the cup. The urine tester ladies are Nazis! We come back, attend the morning meeting (which, strangely, isn't as different as you'd expect from Daily budget meetings, in some ways...) and go to lunch with our editors; mine is Kathy, the lifestyles section editor, and his, the design editor. It's nice to have a lunch plan since no one ever knows what they're doing for lunch on the first day.

We talk about the city, the paper, and they give us some helpful information. Kathy is really really nice and super helpful, which is great.

The newsroom setup is exactly what you'd expect - a huge room, all on one level, where everyone can see each other. It's awkwardly quiet.

After lots of paperwork, email and phone setup, and "tech" training (they just made the big switch over to InCopy and InDesign from Word and Quark, so I'm all set there...) we are sent to our respective sections. I'm taught how to enter weekly entertainment listings, one of my more tedious intern duties, and then I'm given some assignments! Hooray! I will list them.

1. a weekend story about three generations of family members performing in one community theatre show (oh my!)
2. a fitness profile - Q&A with a nominated local person with a commitment to fitness.
3. a feature on bridge (the card game)
4. a religion story on a pastor who is also a magician (yep)

... I think that's it. For now. Excitement.

My editor informs me that she's not too hard on hours - as long as she knows where I am and if I'll be late, and mostly, as long as I get all my work in, it's all good in the hood. So that's cool.

Nothing else too exciting, really. Today I just sat at my computer, emailed a couple sources, called a few (which is horrible in front of lots of people), checked my email a lot, asked a couple dumb questions, went to lunch with Zach and peaced out at 4:30. Niice.

I really like it so far. Hopefully I get a good amount of clips.

I feel like this is way too long, so I'll wrap it up.

Anyone know anything about The Tennessean, Nashville's paper? They posted a job I really want! That's all for now.

PEACE... FROM THE NORTHEAST.

inspired! motivated! oh my

2008-05-20T23:44:00.003-05:00

So a couple friends of mine have been having a little blog-war this semester, and they're using their blogs now, more or less, to update each other while having separate summer plans. Somehow this has really motivated me to jump on the same wagon.

I'm really wanting to keep up with everybody - it's sad that too often when plans change and everyone leaves, I'm horrible at staying it touch. So maybe this will help.

Anyway, I got really excited there for a moment.

I'm about to make the trip to Reading, PA for the summer which means a 22-hour drive is in my near future. Gross. But, luckily, I know this guy named Zach, who is like, the coolest and nicest person ever, and is going to make that looooong trip with me. :) How lucky am I?

I have no idea what to expect, to be honest. Should be an adventure...

On a completely different note, I found this photo today while cleaning my computer, look how freaking cute that dog is! I want one.

moonroof

2008-05-15T22:51:00.002-05:00

campus sunset

2008-05-15T22:35:00.006-05:00

all grown up

2008-05-15T22:25:00.002-05:00

i like this kid

2008-05-15T22:17:00.004-05:00

song for you

2008-05-08T23:12:00.003-05:00

So today I wrote a song for you
'Cause a day can get so long
And I know its hard to make it through
When you say there's something wrong

So I'm trying to put it right
Cause I want to love you with my heart
All this trying has made me tight
And I don't know even where to start

Maybe that's a start

For you know it's a simple game
That you play filling up your head with rain
And you know you've been hiding from your pain
In the way, in the way you say your name

And I see you
Hiding your face in your hands
Flying so you won't land
You think no one understands
No one understands

So you hunch your shoulders and you shake your head
And your throat is aching but you swear
No one hurts you, nothing could be sad
Anyway you're not here enough to care

And you're so tired you don't sleep at night
As your heart is trying to mend
You keep it quiet but you think you might
Disappear before the end

And it's strange that you cannot find
Any strength to even try
To find a voice to speak your mind
When you do, all you wanna do is cry

Well maybe you should cry

And I see you hiding your face in your hands
Talking bout far-away lands
You think no one understands
Listen to my hands

And all of this life
Moves around you
For all that you claim
You're standing still
You are moving too
You are moving too
You are moving too
I will move with you

(Alexi Murdoch)

later fools

2008-05-04T19:23:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I lied. School and pending graduation has taken over my life. New photos do exist, but they have yet to be posted...

Readers be patient! Actually, I think there's only one of you. Thanks for reading, babe!

Will return from hiatus, just not sure when.

I'm like a real person... almost

2008-04-04T15:00:00.003-05:00

In five weeks I'll graduate college. Well, I'll walk across a stage anyway.

That just seems silly. I predict to be about 50% happier overall once school is behind me. I can't wait. I'm still waiting for the fearful stage to come... and enjoying the lack of it in the meantime.

More photos are in your viewing future! Medieval Fair, baseball... and all with the Mark II! Woot.

puzzlin'

2008-03-13T13:47:00.006-05:00

barbershop

2008-03-10T00:49:00.004-05:00

Here's a story I recently did for my Feature Writing class. I think I like it.

random act of free coffee

2008-03-09T20:36:00.005-05:00

At Starbucks today (on campus corner) I decided to go with a grande coffee because I'm utterly broke. Pulled out my pathetic little coin purse and walk up to order.

The barista serving me is short and petite with smooth blond pigtails under her standard issue, backwards black Starbucks cap. I'm not sure how she pulled it off, but the pigtails weren't child like.

She's pouring my freshly brewed Gold Coast (still haven't decided if I like it) while I'm counting coins, trying to predict my final cost while I wait for my warm cup of energy. I hear a tiny, barely-there, "hey!"

Again, "hey!" A strained whisper.

I must not have thought it was for me, because I didn't notice it the first couple of times. But when I looked up to see it was the pigtail barista heying me, I suddenly found my memory, crystal clear, of hearing the pesky sound for the past moments.

She looked at me with pure panic.

"I'm going to give you this, but you have to walk away...fast," she breathes, glancing at the stock closet, where I'm guessing her rule-abiding manager was waiting.

Um... kay. I think. Sweet.

"Just take it, and walk away fast, you don't have to pay..." she slides it to me... "go, go, go!"

You would've thought we were in an episode of Lost, fleeing oncoming others from the eerily rustling bush. I was waiting for hooded ninjas or dudes with snipers to pop out from behind the cappuccino machine.

So I took it. Niiiice.

I navigate the "prep" table, adding lots of half and half and three Splendas (I don't think two's going to do it, I still have no idea how this "Gold Coast" tastes and I'd rather play it safe). I pass her on my way back to my seat, and she tosses me double peace signs.

I'm not sure if she liked me or maybe felt pity for my pathetic little coin purse. Or maybe she just was planning a random act of kindness that day. No matter, I like free coffee. So I smile back.

virtual fast?

2008-03-06T10:03:00.002-06:00

So, yesterday, in my morning rush, I forgot to bring my phone to campus. The panic I felt right when I noticed it wasn't in my bag was a little worrisome. I feel naked without it. How bad is that?

My whole day, I felt more present. In class, I payed attention. I was completely there. I couldn't check my email, my facebook, browse the internet, text message, check the weather, make a to do list.... nothing. And I think in my brief time being completely focused in the here and now, I was actually more productive. By not being able to do a thousand things at once, I actually got more done. Insanity.

Of course, I never knew what time it was, and I had trouble making some necessary phone calls. (Imagine that, using your phone to CALL someone...)

I guess it's not the most original realization, but damn.

grande soy latte with two splendas, please

2008-02-28T14:21:00.005-06:00

I hate money.
I love coffee.

That's pretty much it for today.

serenity

2008-02-21T20:16:00.003-06:00

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

black and white

2008-02-19T13:37:00.003-06:00

sometimes it really is the little things

2008-02-18T13:52:00.003-06:00

At the four-way stop at Symmes and Flood today, the girl in the toyota facing me was seriously rocking out. I'm talking, dancing-waving arms-mouth agape-squinted eyes singing. It was great.

Even better was the immediate but brief exchange of smiles between me and the other two cars.

I wonder what she was listening to?

a little campus corner wandering

2008-02-16T14:31:00.005-06:00

New things excite me.

2008-02-15T15:32:00.003-06:00

Hooray. I am now a member of the blogging community. Hopefully this is something I won't quit.