song for you

So today I wrote a song for you
'Cause a day can get so long
And I know its hard to make it through
When you say there's something wrong

So I'm trying to put it right
Cause I want to love you with my heart
All this trying has made me tight
And I don't know even where to start

Maybe that's a start

For you know it's a simple game
That you play filling up your head with rain
And you know you've been hiding from your pain
In the way, in the way you say your name

And I see you
Hiding your face in your hands
Flying so you won't land
You think no one understands
No one understands

So you hunch your shoulders and you shake your head
And your throat is aching but you swear
No one hurts you, nothing could be sad
Anyway you're not here enough to care

And you're so tired you don't sleep at night
As your heart is trying to mend
You keep it quiet but you think you might
Disappear before the end

And it's strange that you cannot find
Any strength to even try
To find a voice to speak your mind
When you do, all you wanna do is cry

Well maybe you should cry

And I see you hiding your face in your hands
Talking bout far-away lands
You think no one understands
Listen to my hands

And all of this life
Moves around you
For all that you claim
You're standing still
You are moving too
You are moving too
You are moving too
I will move with you

(Alexi Murdoch)

later fools

Ok, so I lied. School and pending graduation has taken over my life. New photos do exist, but they have yet to be posted...

Readers be patient! Actually, I think there's only one of you. Thanks for reading, babe!

Will return from hiatus, just not sure when.

I'm like a real person... almost

In five weeks I'll graduate college. Well, I'll walk across a stage anyway.

That just seems silly. I predict to be about 50% happier overall once school is behind me. I can't wait. I'm still waiting for the fearful stage to come... and enjoying the lack of it in the meantime.

More photos are in your viewing future! Medieval Fair, baseball... and all with the Mark II! Woot.

puzzlin'

barbershop

Here's a story I recently did for my Feature Writing class. I think I like it.

random act of free coffee

At Starbucks today (on campus corner) I decided to go with a grande coffee because I'm utterly broke. Pulled out my pathetic little coin purse and walk up to order.

The barista serving me is short and petite with smooth blond pigtails under her standard issue, backwards black Starbucks cap. I'm not sure how she pulled it off, but the pigtails weren't child like.

She's pouring my freshly brewed Gold Coast (still haven't decided if I like it) while I'm counting coins, trying to predict my final cost while I wait for my warm cup of energy. I hear a tiny, barely-there, "hey!"

Again, "hey!" A strained whisper.

I must not have thought it was for me, because I didn't notice it the first couple of times. But when I looked up to see it was the pigtail barista heying me, I suddenly found my memory, crystal clear, of hearing the pesky sound for the past moments.

She looked at me with pure panic.

"I'm going to give you this, but you have to walk away...fast," she breathes, glancing at the stock closet, where I'm guessing her rule-abiding manager was waiting.

Um... kay. I think. Sweet.

"Just take it, and walk away fast, you don't have to pay..." she slides it to me... "go, go, go!"

You would've thought we were in an episode of Lost, fleeing oncoming others from the eerily rustling bush. I was waiting for hooded ninjas or dudes with snipers to pop out from behind the cappuccino machine.

So I took it. Niiiice.

I navigate the "prep" table, adding lots of half and half and three Splendas (I don't think two's going to do it, I still have no idea how this "Gold Coast" tastes and I'd rather play it safe). I pass her on my way back to my seat, and she tosses me double peace signs.

I'm not sure if she liked me or maybe felt pity for my pathetic little coin purse. Or maybe she just was planning a random act of kindness that day. No matter, I like free coffee. So I smile back.

virtual fast?

So, yesterday, in my morning rush, I forgot to bring my phone to campus. The panic I felt right when I noticed it wasn't in my bag was a little worrisome. I feel naked without it. How bad is that?

My whole day, I felt more present. In class, I payed attention. I was completely there. I couldn't check my email, my facebook, browse the internet, text message, check the weather, make a to do list.... nothing. And I think in my brief time being completely focused in the here and now, I was actually more productive. By not being able to do a thousand things at once, I actually got more done. Insanity.

Of course, I never knew what time it was, and I had trouble making some necessary phone calls. (Imagine that, using your phone to CALL someone...)

I guess it's not the most original realization, but damn.