a case of the Mondays

I feel lost and restless and I really don't know what I want.

What should I do? What jobs should I be looking for? Where should I live? What am I working toward? What do I want? What are my goals? What am I doing?

I don't know! That's the answer to every question - I don't know. I don't like living at home, although it doesn't suck. It's cushy and it's free, and of all parents to live with, my dad is probably the best. But I'm not on my own, and I still feel dependent. Should I move?

Should I try to get a newspaper job? It seems like it's not a good industry to get into at the moment. Everywhere I look people are getting laid off. If they're not getting laid off, they're underpaid in crappy towns. But it's something. It's what I know how to do. It's something to do. I don't want it enough to get paid $10 in Nowhere, Okla.

Should I try to get a job in PR? I don't know much about PR. Should I try to learn?

Should I just start freelancing? What's my story? What do I want to write about? Who should I pitch to?

Where do I want to be in five years? Hell if I know. I don't even know what I'm doing this weekend.

Should I move back 'home' (or the closest thing I can call home) to figure it all out? Where I can live independently and be around the people I love? Where it might be easier to make new friends, or remind me of all my college education and maybe, in some abstract way, motivate me to use it? Or is that just me being restless and wanting to do something? Is that just using where I live as a crutch? Going backward?

I just don't know. Someone asked me how the "great unknown" is treating me. It kind of sucks.

Am I just whining? Probably.