quarter life crises, anyone?

I like my internship, but my only complaint is that it's a little slow moving. It kind of seems like things here just move slower. Deadlines are all a week before a run date, and the desk only produces one piece of original content per day. Maybe two, but rarely. Pretty much everything else is wire, or a quick hit Q&A or something.

Combine that with about five or six lifestyle reporters (a combination of part time, full time and me), and there's really just not that much to do. Yesterday I asked to do a couple more stories, and those have to be fit into the budget for a couple weeks out. So, speed wise, I've pretty much maxed out. But that's okay, because it gives me good reason to take my time and make every story stellar.

So imagine my excitement when yesterday, a weekend editor came up and pitched a story for "someone" to do with a quick turn around - like, three days. I jumped on it. They looked at me like there was no way I could do it - "Are you sure?" they asked. Heck yes, I'm sure. It's community theatre, there's a press release with a phone number already on it. They only need 15 inches, maximum. Psh.

So, I'm out to prove to them that a good feature can be done in a couple of days. My first story ran today, but I didn't really like it. I'm not sure what else I could have done with it though. Hm.

I'm starting to see myself doing more than just writing in my future. I think I'm starting to realize that it's not enough for me. I really like it, but I don't love it so much that I'd be willing to write stories and stories for years and years until I can get into an editing role, which I think is ultimately where I want to be.

When I think back on my experience and what I liked to do most, it was definitely management. I liked being responsible for lots of things at once, coordinating different aspects of a project and getting to use different skills every day.

With that in mind, I found a great PR job in Tulsa that I really want. Weird, huh? It's a risky move, but I figure, if I really wanted to get back into reporting sometime down the road, it would have to be because I was just so passionate about it that I wouldn't mind taking a pay cut or relocating. And if it was possible for me to feel that passionate in the future, wouldn't I already feel that way about it?

But maybe it's not the writing I'm tired of, maybe it's just the 9-5, "adult" environment. Maybe I'm just not challenging myself enough. Maybe it's just because it's not the right job. But how long would I have to work as a reporter to get the "right" job? It could be a while.

I honestly don't know the answer to these questions. I think a lot of my colleagues of the same age and time in life are feeling the same way. How do you really figure out what you want to do without taking too much time to soul search? I know it's better to do something rather than nothing while you figure it out, and even the bad experiences are meaningful, but how do you avoid a decision that might take you down a path that is difficult to back track?

Seriously, anyone have any advice?